Madness Factor

Oh. My. God. I had one hell of a first day. Work itself was grand — they put me to work straight away, which was nice. I got situated at my on-site cubicle and proceeded to write a couple blog posts (yes — blogging is part of the job!) and got the jump on a press release.

The weather was dodgy all day, so I headed out around 4. It’s now 9:30. And I just got home.

The whole ordeal is below the fold.

The commute home was the perfect storm of snow, freezing temperatures, and many, many cars. Not only did visibility suck, but the snow on the road was sticking and quickly morphing into ice. My poor rear-wheel drive car was slipping all over the place, barely able to get traction. It took me an hour and a half to go a distance that would normally take 15-20 minutes. And I was still not even 1/2 way home.

At the peak of the pandemonium, I pulled off into a shopping center to wait out the worst of the gridlock; the shopping center is at the base of a hill that I knew I wouldn’t be able to scale in stop-and-go traffic. I fishtailed my way around the parking lot until I managed to maneuver into a spot. To stave off the impending panic attack — a certain degree of dismay sets in when you have absolutely no idea how you’re going to get home, and nowhere to stay should you have to wait ’til morning — I went into the center and got a chai and a sandwich, then went browsing for books. Three collections of poetry and two novels later — by authors Emily Dickinson, Dylan Thomas, ee cummings, Carl Hiaasen, Chris Bohjalian — I decided to see what conditions were like outside.

Upon surveying the road, I could see traffic had subsided, so I thought I would try and brave it. First order of business was getting out of the parking lot. I had spun my wheels trying to park the car, now to see if I could get out of the spot I had haphazardly chosen. In anticipation of more spinning wheels, I even went to the Albertson’s to get traction-inducing cat litter. To my surprise, however, my car went backwards when I put it in reverse. No cat litter required.

I cautiously headed toward the main road. The car moved steadily. A joy surged within me. Could it really be this easy? Um, no. It couldn’t. With very few cars to impede my ascent, I managed to tackle the hill I so feared, but once at the summit, chaos awaited. My normal route home was blocked by three buses stuck in the middle of the road. I turned around and chose an alternate route.

It was a white-knuckled journey the whole way. I am a seasoned winter driver, and I have never seen anything like what I saw tonight. The roads were a mishmash of dense slush and ice, with no salt or plows to temper it. Vehicles flailed around like drunken novice ice skaters. Legions of buses sat motionless near bus stops, where beleaguered would-be passengers stood shivering. One guy was so desperate, he was attempting to hitchhike in front of a stuck bus. I contemplated picking him up, but I really didn’t want to drive any more than I had to… and of course there’s that whole I’m-a-woman-in-a-car-by-myself thing. I felt for the guy, but unfortunately for him, not enough to risk my safety.

It took me about 45 minutes, but I successfully made my way to the main drag that would take me home — or close enough, anyway. Once on that street, my goal was to reach a major intersection about 20 blocks from my house — if I could just make it there, there were plenty of side streets nearby where I could leave my car, and walk the rest of the way home.

It was about nine blocks to that intersection, and it took me over an hour to get there. It was a tense hour, too — there were times when I felt like I had absolutely no control whatsoever over my vehicle, even when I was stopped. The car would slowly start to veer to the right as I waited in a long line of vehicles that were trying to reach the same traffic lights that served as my beacon.

At last, I inched my way to the intersection, then surprised myself by trying to go all the way home. The thing was, I had few other options — the nearby side streets were blocked by gridlock. But my intent meant one more hill. There were so few other cars attempting it, I figured the worst-case scenario was that I would leave the car on the side of the road should I have to abort the climb. It was dicey, but my vehicle ultimately proved itself to be the little car that could. As I drove down my street toward my house, I could see cars spun out on side streets. (The street I live on is also a side street, but mercifully flat.) I couldn’t believe it when I pulled my car into my driveway. Home. With hubby, dog, cats, and a glass of wine to greet me.

Now that I’m home, I must say this to all the other drivers out there tonight: Yes, I know I was driving like a road hog. And I’m sorry. If I didn’t drive like I did, though, I would have caused an accident or ended up stuck, blocking traffic. I drove in the middle of two lanes, ’cause when I tried to stay to the right, I started to skid into the curb (and the rear of my car swerved into the left lane). I didn’t want to stay in the left lane, because it’s likely I would have sideswiped anyone in the right lane with all my fishtailing. I kept going when yellow lights turned red, ’cause if I tried to stop, I would have kept going anyway. I also drove very slowly, but I did allow people to get in front of me when they indicated, and moved over when possible to let people pass. I did the best I could.

And I made this promise to myself tonight: As soon as the roads are safe for travel, I’m going to go get some chains, and leave them in the trunk of the car. Also, if it looks like inclement weather is around the corner, I’m just gonna work from home.